Today I am here to write about my anger. Yes, it is perhaps the worst thing a person can have /develop/inherit or whatever. I generally get angry when something doesn’t go my way or a person is behaving in an unexpected manner. I get agitated when things are not organised and/or the house is untidy or the clothes are not folded and so on. I have always been told by my mother that anger is not a good emotion to have. However, I have seen her as the angriest person in our family. So, I somehow got confused, obviously!
The worst part of my anger is – if I am angry at reason A, I can/may take out that anger at reason Z or person X. I know this is dangerous and real bad for me. However, I used to do that until recently.
A day before “that” day, I reached home from a trip outside. The house was a mess and I had overnight house guest with me. Next day, I slogged like a donkey to clean the house. (I have this cleanliness OCD). I was tired and angry at my partner for not helping me in the cleaning process. The same day, my maid and cook, both didn’t show up. Yes, reasons enough for me to be at the peak of my anger. Then this friend of mine with whom I wanted to talk to wasn’t responding to my messages. And when this unfortunate friend did contact me back…he got the taste of all my accumulated anger. I feel sorry for myself for getting so angry. I realised that I was being unfair by misbehaving with this dear friend of mine, who ironically keeps telling me that anger is not a good thing, it’s equal to a devil. (In Assamese, it is said that “Khong namei Chandaal”). This friend, after being misbehaved with so much for none of his fault, suddenly became quiet. I realised my mistake. I thought I have lost this friend forever, for my own mistake. But thank God we are still the best of friends.
I also remembered my partner saying, “You may lose your loved ones for your anger.” I didn’t want to lose any of those who really love me. In my process of realisation of my mistake, I remembered the character of the movie, Julie & Julia. Julia Child, played by Meryl Streep, never got angry; she never got agitated even though she also had to face a lot of ups and downs in her life. She took things as they came. She was receptive of all the happenings and events in her life. Though she always pursued what she wanted to. That inspired me. That day, I promised to myself to keep my anger under control and to take it easy. I am sure I’ll be successful. Touch wood!